Day Twenty Three: Steve Trout
Steve Trout has (prior to his imaginary death today) thrown out first pitches at both Chicago teams games. He is a celebrated pitcher of historic teams in the Windy City of the 1980s. From the early Tony LaRussa ChiSox days to the almost World Series birth of the Cubbies in 1984, Trout was a useful lefty who on two occasions (84 and 85) had a WAR over 3. That's pretty fucking good. So he had a career of some worth. Worthy enough that when you google him you will see his smiling visage standing with catchers of both teams after throwing out ceremonial pitches. They have literally celebrated Steve Trout. Multiple times. And as a Mariners fan of the late 80's this is perplexing and baffling and perfectly expected. Steve Trout was a very bad pitcher when he left Chicago and played half a season with the Yanks in 87. And wouldn't you know it! He was traded in the offseason (with very cool customer Henry Cotto) to the Mariners. Perhaps he still had something left! And here is where the lore of Steve Trout becomes very dicey. You see, my father regularly talked about how bad Steve Trout was. Like, Steve Trout was the bar by which all other suffering should be measured. All pitchers where one yip away from being worthless. And Steve Trout was standing over their shoulder grinning his death's head smile. Lurking in the shadows of every outing, according to my dad, was the potential for a pitcher to end their career. This was impressed upon me from that 88 season onward in the figure of Steve Trout. So he has been handed down to me, as a familial blessing, a special heirloom to dangle in front of whichever hapless Persian cat happens to be doing his best Rick Ankiel impression that evening. I always have Steve Trout in my backpocket to summon forth. No wonder I am not a fan of pitchers!
So there are two aspects to the Steve Trout legend that I needed to check up on today in order to either see the hand of hyperbole (which I have also inherited) in the creation of this massive figure, or to confirm that yes, indeed, Steve Trout was the worst pitcher ever. I don't know what I was expecting to find, but the stats are really something else. In 88 Trout had an ERA of 7.83 in 56 innings. This kind of amazingly (like no hyperbole, this is utter trash) bad season gave him a WAR of -1.5. Truly astounding stuff. How do you stand for more than one loss and only pitch 56 innings? That takes some doing indeed. Well done, Trout man. And then in 89 he outdid himself, making it only until July when the Mariners (yes, even the lowly Mariners couldn't stomach him) released his sorry ass with 6.60 ERA and a WAR of -1.3. Man! Those numbers truly are scion of darkness worthy! But the mythical example that my dad used to give regarding an inning where Trout threw a number of wild pitches, or perhaps it was pitches thrown without a strike? I don't know, I will have to ask him, but this is the fabled last moment of Steve Trout's career (and it is true that after the Mariners cut him in 89 that was it). The fabled you threw such a bad inning that you are literally thrown out of baseball moment. I could not find it. It appears that his last appearance was in the 13th inning of a game in June of 89 and he lost the game for the Mariners. So perhaps that was the outing, but somehow I don't think it was. I think it is probably better for Steve Trout to have had that secret inning of destruction for the entirety of my post-Griffey baseball watching life. And regardless of the veracity of this wild pitch laden final thrust of the dagger, Steve Trout shall continue to be the man waiting in the wings with the scythe. Reaping down finicky pitchers and sending them to the scrapheap.
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