Day Forty Four: Carl Everett

I almost couldn't find a Mariners card of Carl Everett on the internet. He's a vivid fixture in the honor-ring of Mariners suffering, but like so many others, he was hardly even here. Carl Everett is an example of another kind of Mariners traditional archetype (that was really popular in the second half of the 00's), the guy who was good/passable/not awful who comes to the Mariners and ends his career. Now, we are not talking about ending your career like playing out the days, or finishing strong, or anything like that. We are talking about guys who come to Seattle and their statline just fucking dies. They get a few ABs and then poof! they are literally out of the game. And there's quite a number of them. But Carl Everett is the most fun. Because Carl Everett was also totally fucking crazy.

It says on Carl Everett's Baseball Reference that he was a switch-hitter, but that is total bullshit. He began to "not hit left" against tough pitchers even during his very productive years in Boston. Carl had a great deal of success in Boston to be sure, but the minute you start doing that nonsense you're as good as cooked. I can't remember what pitcher it was, but it was a tough righty, mighta been Clemens, and Everett decided to move off what Big Cecil used to call "the money side" of the plate and hit his natural right handed. I don't know what kind of edge that would give you if you're truly a switch hitter? I've heard of guys giving up the right hand side of the plate but Everett is the only player I have ever seen hit righty for extended periods of time. The whole idea behind being a switchitter is that you maximize that lefthanded side. Lefthanded pitching is actually pretty rare so basically you're a 4 out of 5 days lefthanded batter. But if you're Carl Everett you just decide whatever you want to do pretty much as you walk to the plate. I want there to be a story where he switched mid-ab but I can't be sure that is true. Sounds real though. Anyways, it isn't surprising that Carl Everett is the guy who didn't really bat switch.

Carl is a Creationist of the most hardcore type. Dinosaurs are mythical in his worldview. And that is the somewhat harmless part of his spiritual path. He also was very outspoken in his playing days about how much he disliked gay people. He wasn't really a very likable guy at all. But he was still a viable player when he arrived in Seattle for the 2006 season. He was a bit long in the tooth to be sure (not 6000 years old but he was showing some wear), and Bavasi brought him in hoping to get something out of the tank at DH. But he was cooked by the end of July and never played in the bigs again. That's how it goes! No matter what kind of wacky character you are the minute the Marine Layer hits your batting stick it's lights out!

In 2006 the Mariners were an in between squad that felt like they were just about to turn the corner. Carl Everett could have helped the cause but instead he just stunk it up and then disappeared into the shadows of baseball history. There are so many 20/20 hindsight "ugh!" players on that 2006 squad. I was just looking at Jeremy Reed and I am probably going to have to write an essay on that fool as well. Goddamn what a few years will tell you about these things. As for Carl Everett, I hope that he has changed his ways and is a more agreeable individual with less harmful views, but I've got a feeling that Carl is somewhere acting like a madman right now. Anyways, he will always be a Mariner!

 says on Carl Everett's Baseball Reference that he was a switch-hitter, but that is total bullshit. He